Obedience to Someone intangible can be tricky. Obedience to Someone intangible when 6 adult opinions are involved can be even trickier, but we're doing our best.
A couple weeks ago we looked at a monster house (over 6000 square feet!!) on 7.5 acres in the city about 15 minutes away from the church building. It was very impressive and very grand, and somewhat practical. On one hand, we could have all fit (shyeah!), but on the other it would be very hard to be sustainable in a house that large. On one hand, it was easy to love the idea of that house, but on the other I think everyone loved it but me. I crave more open land in the country, and I'm fascinated by the notion of tiny houses and very seriously considering living in a bus. Nonetheless, we were on the verge of making an offer. Our concerns ultimately outweighed our enthusiasm, however, and we never followed through.
A few nights later at the dinner table my dad asked the family what we thought about going ahead and listing our house. He had felt a release from the Lord a couple weeks ago that it was time, and that morning felt like the Lord told him we needed to be ready for quick action. We went around the table and shared our responses to that idea. They were mixed. I thought it made sense: it would force us to complete all the little projects we'd been putting off until we found the right place, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if God asked us to step out in faith before revealing the answer.
The following Saturday, I thought about checking the real estate listings for anything new. I've been the one that's done almost all of the searching and deciding what properties to go see. Instead I decided to focus on being ready by working on some projects around the house, rather than investing time looking at listings. The next morning I received an email about a new listing that I knew could be one of the strongest contenders yet. We went to look at it three days later and learned that the house had been shown 20 times in four days, and there was talk of other offers, so we knew it would indeed be important to act quickly. In response to what my dad had heard from the Lord and in agreement as a family, we made an offer that night. Two days after that our offer was accepted, and two days after that our house was on the market. In between Thanksgiving and Christmas isn't when most sane people try to move, so now it's really up to the Lord to send a buyer for our house. I'm glad it's in His hands. If this house is His will for us, He'll send a buyer and we'll be grateful for His provision. If He doesn't, we'll be grateful that He prevented us from moving where He didn't want us to be.
Because it happened so quickly, it's been interesting to see how people are processing the decision. One of the reasons this house seemed so great is because it's already set up for multi-generational living. The current owners were a family that lived in the main house, and one set of their parents who lived in a second, smaller house built into the workshop behind the main house. The reason they're selling is because the couple that lived in the main house are divorcing. When we looked at the house, the parents living in the smaller house were there and said they had thought that was going to be their forever home, and they weren't sure where to go from there. This has been really difficult for my mom to process. She feels like she doesn't want it at that expense.
To be honest, I've had second thoughts as well. I know my dad is willing to live there, and had peace about making the offer, but I also know that he really wanted to be closer to the church building and the people in our congregation. Plus, while there's a workshop that appeals to Tim and John, a pool that appeals to me, a nearby small town that appeals to my mom, and a nice house that appeals to my sister, there's no catfish pond for my dad. For his sake, I think I wouldn't be disappointed if it didn't work out. I also have started to feel sentimental about our house. My parents have lived in this house for nearly 17 years! Part of me wishes we could sell it to someone we know so we could come back sometimes.
I've been plagued by other doubts as well. What about being incarnational? Can we do what we feel God has called us to in the city where the people are? Should we? Is selfishness behind my desire to live in the country, or regarding the current political climate and decline of society is it wisdom and discerning the times to be somewhat removed from the city and more self sufficient? Is it okay to be a Christian and live in the country? That sounds like a silly question, but I've pondered it. This house is so close to being exactly what we wanted, and yet...so far. Literally. Did we make a hasty decision or are we truly being obedient?
It does feel good though, to have finally have taken a significant step forward. It will be interesting to see what happens. Whatever the outcome, I'm glad it's in the Lord's hands.
